I have questions about issues

[bmoral123]

I have been going through some problems that deal directly with being a woman First I was employed at a factory I was sexually harrassed I attempted to complain I was told to leave the human resource office I was not trained for a position I signed up for a male co worker was trained instead I went to the equal employment opportunities commision and filed charges my employer retaliated consequently I was terminated due to circumstances surrounding this. I was denied unemployment compensation because of this. I cannot get public assistance because I am not pregnant or have small children.My questions are 1: there are laws to protect women from sexual harrassement and discrimination why are there no resources to assist women so that they can support themselves so that they do not have to stay in these situations when there are no alternatives but to stay and recieve this treatment. I live in a small retirement community where jobs were scarce before the economy went bad. It seems to me that the only way to get anything in this country is to sleep with a man in some way shape or form I have chosen not to sleep with someone and now I suffer for it. 2: women who have no children or are not pregnant are unable to recieve any money form the government to support them in tough times it also prevents them from partaking in some of the programs to help them better themselves such as the welfare to work programs. this is a problem that I am not the only female that has run into this Three days ago I was speaking to a young woman who was unable to have children she is unemployed also and has no way to pay her bills so that she can have a place to sleep.the government will give you food stamps but what use is it when you don't have a place to sleep or to take a bath or wash your clothes so that you can look for work. there are many people who don't have families to help them or give them a place to stay.This is unfair and discriminatory If I went out and had sex with a man and got pregnant I would get money for a place to stay food to eat and free training to get a better job. I would qualify for medicaid so I could get birth control so I wouldn't get pregnant again.And I would get favoritism from companies who get a tax break for hireing people who recieve afdc Our schools are supposed to teach abstinance but those of us who do abstain do not get the same treatment as those who do.Can someone please inform me as to how am I supposed to view these things. Do I have the wrong perspective of things.And how do I go about changeing some of these things.Knowledge is power I have heard And I do believe that one person can make a difference. It starts with one person at a time.I just need to know where to begin.Who do I speak to who do I write to If someone can piont me in the right direction I would greatly appreciate it thank you (if I have come to the wrong place please let me know

[haystacksmama]

I am 61 years of age so I have had just about every issue that women have worked to change. Married at twenty and on my wedding my husband blacked both my eyes, said I was too friendly with his brother. Then I became pregnant and the violence escalated to the point I was afraid I would murder him. I left and hid from him for five years. My first job as single mother I had to promise I would not take off work if my child was sick. I was a legal secretary. He did get sick and I lost my job. Apply for food stamps and aide. They gave it to me with the condition that I go to school. Great! I got a bachelor of science in business/accounting. With a 4.5 Gpa I thought I was on my way. No, they did not hire female accountants only bookkeepers. I made less than I did before college degree. There were descriminations laws then but I wasn't old enought for that remedy. I was offered one accounting job but I also had to care for his aging mother too. I moved to Florida and was able to get an accounting position with an new industry of t.v. sales. After going public they hired outside male accounting personnel. I had hit the glass ceiling, lowest level as you could get. When I pressed for promotions, I was told I would need to wear lower cut blouses and shorter skirts. My reply was "if I wanted to do that I could make more money in a night club as a waitress". As a matter of fact the owner told me that he had more respect for women who used their natural ass-ests to make a living. Then I got diabetes and they fired me. This was 1990s. I said I would rather clean toilets than work in that field again and I did. When I applied for medical help I was told I did not qualify because I was not of child bearing age (43) and was actually told to find a sugar daddy by a government agency. Social security disability. I was not a womans libber but I was raised to believe in myself and was a surviver and I did survive and am doing well without hating men although I am still single
My ISSUE here is that my son is a self made man, talented man, twenty years in the same industry, making six figures doing great. Divorced and was given custody of his three children. He remarried two years ago to a women with a degree and a career of her own, and one child. He is a generous man and they had a big house with a pool, had three cars, children in sports, and all was well. His 15 year old son was on the Presidential honor roll and he had a five and a seven year old daughters. His wife started taking Chantrix for smoking, a promise she made to quit because he hates smokers. She developed side effects of aggressiveness, anxiety, began have thoughts that my son and his friends were going to kill her. He got her an appointment with a psychiatrist after she beat him up in front of the children. She was a pro kick boxer. She ask why didn't he have her arrested and he told her he loved her and she needed help. He went to Washington on a business trip. His son called after school and said when he got home from school the house was enpty and they were alone. His dad caught the next flight home and when he got back there was an DVI CHARGING HIM WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. She stated that he didn't hit her but she was afraid of him and didn't know what he was capable of. Loving her he put an ad in the newspaper without mentioning her name saying he love her. Started a facebook account dedicated to his family including her picture and letters of love and offers of help. Long story short she charged him with aggravated stalking. He spent three months in jail away from his children, lost his home, cars, job, and future. He was in jail for thanksgiving and in order to get out for christmas and be with his kids he accepted HER offer of four years probation. His son droppped out of school and now runs the streets, and he and his girls live in my attic, and he is so despondent I'm afraid I may lose him. Now, if he does write a statement telling how he beat her and sign it, they are threatening to send him to prison for four years.
NOW I think that women being abused may lose ground if women like her are allow to use the system to destroy men and I have met and read a lot about this happening. PLEASE INCLUDE SOME FAIL SAFE MEASURE IN THE ADVANCEMENT OF PROTECTION LAWS SO THAT INNOCENT MAN AREN'T DESTROYED OR I PROMISE YOU, MEN WILL RISE UP AND UNDO ALL THE GOOD WORK AND ADVANCEMENT FOR REAL ABUSE!

With all my respect
Once abused and its happening again to my son

[ruth]

Dear H-Mama-
What a heart wrenching story, I'm so sorry for this circumstance. I want to let you know that as I move forward in my support of womens' issues, I will remember to do my absolute best to consider the many facets and potential variables & outcomes of change. I appreciate you sharing that story and I wish you, your son & his family the very best.
I have understood that particular smoking cessation drug to result in aggressive and paranoid behaviors. I'm sure you know that the manufacturer cites the following side effects, " anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, ..(http://www.chantix.com/side-effects-safety-info.aspx)". I also know that the justice system fails sometimes and there are serious flaws in the investigation and litigation of family court matters.
Again, I hope things turn around and I appreciate your post.

[ruth]

bmoral-I understand your frustration. I'm so sorry.
Regarding resources- If you are out of work and homeless, you have to seek out a shelter first, most have some kind of social worker who can advise on resources in your specific community--sadly, I know many places that either do not have shelters or are always at/exceeding capacity.

Regarding fairness- the current social programs are not fair and they do not function well in most cases. I know that first hand. Some of the things we can do are; work from a grassroots level with community organizations like NOW and others, write to our representatives and legislators, get the word out and seek support within our communities.

Another note on fairness - while I don't agree with the assumption that to get anywhere women must sleep w/ the men in charge (not say this wasn't or isn't a sad & disgusting truth with some individual bosses but I don't believe its the norm in this country presently - I know that women are not on an equal playing field in terms of compensation for doing the same work as men but that doesn't change by sleeping with them), I will say that the way to change that is to become the women in charge and to behave responsibly and appropriately. To this end there are programs that support womens initiatives (albeit somewhat minimal) because women also fit into the category or along side 'minorities' (hhmmm...dare ya to calculate that given the demographics of this country - somehow the equation just doesn't balance) now and there are incentives for women-owned businesses for example.

If you are still in is tight spot and you want to email me with your location I'll see what I can do to help you locate support.